Three lads were out for a drink. A Brit, a Scot, and an Irishman. A fly landed in the Brit’s pint and he took one look, scoffed, and spoke to the barman in his arrogant manner, “Take this away immediately and bring me one fresh”. Another fly buzzed around and landed in the pint of the Scot. Seeing how he was thrifty and didn’t want to waste a good drink, he quietly shooed the fly away. Now the Irishman, when coming upon his pint, looked down at the same fly and took a moment to consider. He reached down, gently lifted the fly in his two hands by each wing and held it up, before bellowing out, “Alright ye wee bastard. Spit it out! Spit it out!”
It is not just a rumor that the Irish love their drink. Alcohol consumption by the Irish is nearly the highest of the European countries, being only slightly outcompeted by the Czech’s. Point proven: My first night in Ireland was met with an experience of not one, but two pubs. I have never frequented an American bar.
Even better, a UCD tradition is to skip the first day of lectures and go to the pub instead. This is easily done since their are two pubs on campus. While some students take this to an extreme and really do skip all lectures, most will at least make an attempt to make it to the first class. So after meeting the eight other fourth year horticulture students who I have since come to spend a great deal of time with, I was surprised to find that in my next lecture, International Food Marketing, not one person including the professor, showed up. After working my way downstairs and discovering the boys I had just met, they instantly attempted to cart me off to the bar.
During “Fresher’s Week” new students have the opportunity to sign up for campus clubs and societies. Within an hour of being on the UCD campus, I met with my academic advisor who urged me to sign up for the Ag Soc. When I asked the hort boys what the Ag Soc functions entailed, Dan simply replied, “We drink.” Further investigating on this subject (both the drinking habits of Dan and Ag Soc activities) have revealed that quite a substantial amount of alcohol is involved. No details are needed here of course, other than the idea of going to the pub is much more socially acceptable in Ireland, young and old alike will be found in the pubs, and the Irish are much better able to “hold their drink” than nearly all Americans.
In closing, I will leave off with a merry sing-song tune sung by Dan in his delight for (another) pint. Remember to think of a cute Irish accent singing this as it goes:
”Beer Beer Beer, Down Down Down, In my belly (rubs belly), Yum Yum Yum.”
